Exploring Awareness

Well, now I have to catch up.  I have been putting my energy into site improvements rather than the content.  Back to the real reason I’m doing this.  To explore…

I’ve never looked too deeply into the Shamanic side life.  The Shamanic, as I see it, is a attunement to nature.  Nature “talks” to you in metaphor.  Certain animals, plants, and natural occurrences convey attributes that communicate meaning in an intuitive manner.  I heard about people saying that they have a totem animal, an animal that conveys a reflection of self and assists in their inner discovery of themselves.  I always imagined my totem as probably being a wolf or falcon.  I suppose I picked those because of stories I read and certain aspects of those animals that I wanted to see in myself.  Boy was I wrong.  My totem made itself known this year.  My totem is cat.

Looking back it seems quite obvious.  I have many cat-like attributes; I don’t have to try to have them, they are an innate part of who I am now and who I have always been.  Cat “speech” has always come easily to me; I understand what they are trying to communicate.  Siamese “speak” a different language, but I was able to pick it up pretty quickly once I realized.  Eyelid motions, tail twitches, looking away – it’s all communication.

How did I find out that my totem was cat after all this time of living with cats and not seeing it?  A black cat crossed my path.  It “said” I’m hungry, help me.  I coaxed it out from under my truck with a friendly purring and clucking.  It came readily and I could see that it was starving, but had been well cared for in the past as it’s coat was full.  We brought it some food and water and fed it on our front porch.  I felt a tugging an intuitive tugging to bring it into the family.  I fought that feeling.  I really did not want to care for another animal.  We had 3 cats and a dog.  Another cat would would cause disruption, especially as two of our cats are half-Siamese (which are all a little crazy as far as I am concerned).  The tugging would not let up though, and I found myself outside looking over the cat.  Moments later we were feeding it inside the house.  I could see it was not well.  Which is to say it was healthy except for being nearly starved, but was not acting cat-like.  No tail twitching, no reaction when our want-to-be-dominate Siamese male hissed at it.  No startling when the kids made a lot of noise.  It worried me.  I kept a close eye on it throughout the rest of the evening.  At some point, the idea that cat was my totem struck me.  Like an avalanche, the thought started small, but undeniable.  Then the realization grew and it tumbled out in front of me.  Of course, cat was my totem.

With a slow blink, and a trilling purr…

P.S.  She’s doing much better now.

I attended a Halloween party where there were various metaphysical specialists doing their thing.  During a reading with John Skyrman he basically started by asking why I was not doing readings.  This is about the 3rd or 4th time I have been told this by a psychic this year.  I guess I should start practicing.  I just don’t know how to begin.

How does someone begin giving readings?  Obviously I can start with family members who are supportive of this sort of thing, but then who do I practice on?  I suppose I had better get started with my community meeting idea.   That will at least give me a pool of folks to practice on, and give others a pool to practice on as well.

I have a friend that has confounded me.  At first, I thought he was completely disconnected from the path I am trying to explore.  That’s fine, most folks on the planet are disconnected, they are not here as explorers.  Nothing wrong with that, it just means we have different interests.  What I found after talking with him more, was that he is on his path.  He is perfectly content.  He is a walking Buddha.  He doesn’t have to explore his path.  He is not looking for further awareness.  His life is happiness.  When it is not, it changes and he is perfectly happy with that, too.  He loves his work, he loves sitting at home watching TV.  When the football game is on, he loves cheering when things go well.  When they don’t, he is happy and says, “Darn, maybe next time.”  Then he moves on to something else he enjoys.  Step by step, day by day, he is happiness.